Fitblr Last Friday Night
losethisgainthat: Last Friday night, Yeah we go jogging in the dark Doing yoga at the park Swimming faster than a shark Last Friday night Yeah we drank a cup of green tea ”Luna bars mbf me” Peanut butter stuffed community Last Friday night Olympics are our porn Now our muscles are all torn Sneakers are completely worn Last Friday night, Yeah we pledged by school time we’d be...
Just because I have a ''Fit tumblr'' does not mean...
parents: honey, it's time for the sex talk
me: what do you wanna know
I want sexy ass legs. You know the kind that when...
everyonelikesthe-drooms: sesamestreethockey: anrdew: I want a remote that makes people shut the fuck up with the click of a button
styleswhore: willow smith is 10 and she’s worth $4 million i’m fifteen and i’m worth a piece of confetti at the olympics
Why can't rappers rap about nice things?
senzaspazi: YEAH GIRL I’MMA TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND put them in a closet for you cause it’s polite YEAH BABY THAT’S RIGHT IMMA PICK YOU UP AND carry you to your bed cause baby I know you tired OH GIRL IMA SLAP DAT broom out of your hand because you’ve had a long day at work, and i can do it myself. WAIT TILL YOU SEE MA collection of politely worded love letters.
My mouth hasn’t shut up about you since you kissed it. The idea that you may...– Alex Turner’s love letter to Alexa Chung (via excuse-me-for-i-am-the-ocean)
shit fitblr's say
me: fuck the thigh gap
me: what are you doing where are the veggies on your plate
me: i have to pee
me: "fruit has too much sugar" my ass
me: what is this bubbling, high sugar content, chemical shit storm contraption you are drinking
me: you cant even pronounce the ingredients how is this food
me: "what would you like to drink?" i'll just have water, thanks
me: brb have to pee again
me: yeah i'll come over after i workout
me: this isnt a diet its a LIFESTYLE GOD MOM
Blurps from a Bipolar: A drunken man's word is a... →
dontpanicitsorganic: I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected: A half-gallon of 2% milk A carton of eggs A quart of orange juice A head of lettuce A 2 lb. can of coffee A 1 lb. package of bacon As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched…
Blurps from a Bipolar: why men are mere men now a... →
dontpanicitsorganic: I was off from work heading my way to Glorietta last night, I was comfortably seated in one air-conditioned bus, and on a spurt of a moment people are beginning to rush their way inside the halls of that articulated vehicle. I saw women standing, & being my usual self I gladly offered my seat for…
because WE'RE the obnoxious ones
random person: hey can i get you a burger?
vegetarian/vegan: oh no thank you, i'm a vegetarian/vegan
random person: here let me whip out my nutritionist credentials that I don't have to tell you why you're going to die